His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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