dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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