Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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