I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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