i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
