i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
