chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
