all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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