I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
