We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
