First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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