so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
