I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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