They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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