people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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