If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
