Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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