In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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