he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
