why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
