Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
