Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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