you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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