Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
