girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
