I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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