So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
