I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
