Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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