I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize