my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
