I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
