why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
