it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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