I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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