i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
