I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
