yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
