I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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