you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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