Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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