I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize