Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
