So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
