How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
