She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
