how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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