Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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