Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Ketchup is God's man juice
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
