As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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