well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
