turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
