New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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