Fine. I'll sleep in my office
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Boobs are out for the taking
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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