Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
So apparently I’m into choking now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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