Will you blow on my dice?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
