And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Randomize
