Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
